Socially Awkward

So.. I was homeschooled *groan* and thus lack the social confidence that comes from being berated by kids in elementary school. 

Here's some Socially Awkward Penguins to which I relate all too well.

Are You Crazy, CrazyFads.com?

The list of fads for the 2000s... makes me cry.

My disputes:
-"That's hot" was only a fad for Paris Hilton. Get it TFO!
-Mini skirts with leggings. EPIC. You can wear tiny skirts and still do cartwheels.
-Skinny jeans. BEST. THING. EVER. Shouldn't have gone away in the 80s... Shouldn't go now.
-iPods. How exactly is the best thing to ever happen to music a fad?
-Wide skate shoes with fat laces. I LMAO a little at this.

Everything else can suck it. The 2000s suuuuuuucked.

Writer's Block

Just woke up and thought I'd post at 4 in the morning. Sounded like a good idea, only my brain is not awake. So here's a something I guess. Until I can think enough to type in full sentences and about something besides not being able to write about anything.

Resident Evil: Afterlife

The zombies remind me of Blade. I was all "whaaaaaaaat?"

July Sucks

This month has been nothing but sweaty nasty bad luck. I'm over it. August is where it's at. I once wanted to make my own calender with like 60 holidays in August. It bummed me out that August has no holidays in it.

I propose we rename August "Holiday" and make it a national holiday. Need it to get over July. Stupid Dog Days.

Laundry Is My Thing

I noticed that I post on Facebook A LOT about doing laundry. So I thought I'd give you a play by play of just part of my exiting week to show you why.

Sunday
Wake up.
Check for internet. There is none.
Smoke e-cig.
Think. Decide to pick fruit, step outside, decide against molten wasteland.
Think. Think. Think. (Winnie the Pooh reference)
Stare at laundry pile.
Attempt to hang out with someone. Fail.
Eat.
Watch boyfriend play Diablo.
Check facebook.
Blog.
Sleep.

Monday
Same as Sunday.

Tuesday
Same as Monday except I'm fed up with life and not having a car or a phone, and decide to take it out violently on the giant pile of laundry taunting me from the closet.

Alas. What will I do when I'm caught up?

Anyway, laundry is basically the only thing that's not disappointing as hell. No one can/will take it from me.

Tarot Card of the Day

The card for today is VI The Lovers.

A choice is to be made, one that is possibly life changing. Heartfelt consequences will result.

I hate making decisions on Saturday.

My Phobias

I have quite a few unnatural fears. I'm not afraid of snakes, spiders, rodents, none of that wussy stuff. My fears are hardcore.

-Bathrooms. I hate going to the bathroom alone. Most of this is due to the fact that I have a huge phobia of
-Mirrors. I can't stand in front of a mirror for any extended period of time. I feel like something is going to pull me in, or come out...
-Deep Water. As much as I deeply love and admire sharks, I absolutely fear them. It's not just sharks though. It's the idea that I'm going to be pulled under, be it by giant squid or ghost or whatever.

So there you have it. My deepest fears.
Laugh with me.

Tarot Card of the Day

The card I pulled for today is the Ace of Swords.

Ace of Swords is all about new ideas and ways of thinking. It can also signify a personal achievement.

Top Five Reasons Why I Hate the Summer Olympics

5. Old people never shut up about it. Last summer olympics all I heard about was the 70s and how people could run back then. Don't care.

4. There is always some ridiculous scandal.

3. There is no figure skating.

2. Regular scheduled programming becomes a faded bitter memory.

1. Gymnastics is the only thing I watch and I always seem to miss it. Sigh.

Things a Person Tripping on Mushrooms Would Say

"You're gonna take a chance and say we're good? I'm gonna take a chance and say we're garlic!"

"It's empty?! I was pretty sure it had something in it at one point in time!"

"I sound like a robot."

"I don't know who's been talking to you but it hasn't been me..."

"I totally want to eat that dog, but I'm not going to."

Buster

This amazing 14 lb. purebred chihuahua is the cutest dog ever. He snorts when he gets excited, and he freaks out and rears around like a unicorn. He's an alpha male douche bag but we love him.

Dog Possessed? Or Just Talented?

Our dog, Buster,  is literally singing Wild Ones. You know. Flo Rida and Sia? It's a trip and a half. I don't know whether to be scared or freaking impressed. He continues to sing The Fighter by Gym Class Heroes. Of course. The second I can show another human being, he tires of whining for pets.

YOLO

You may only live once, but do you want to be known as a whore, alcoholic, junkie, etc. for that lifetime?

Seriously, this is one of the dumbest fads EVER.

Lazy F6

This is how I feel being an unemployed hermit without higher education. 

The Tragedy of Technology

My phone has long been shut off. Neither wifi nor landline has been installed since the move. What little internet is given throughout the day via tethering cannot be spent on my inactive World of Warcraft and Xbox Live accounts. The blu-ray player no longer plays blu-ray discs. The Wii works (yay....).

This is sad. It is summer time. I shouldn't need all of these things to be entertained. I should be swimming and camping and raging!!! Or working... Whatever.