Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Hell's Beetle

Holy crap. I just had the craziest encounter with a giant demonic insect.

I stepped out the door to have a smoke (I know. I know. Relapse. It's just part of the recovery process.) with Danny's sister, Lisa. I make it to the first step when suddenly Lisa let's out a high pitched scream. 

"What is that?!?!" she shreaks. 

Being the only non-arachnophobic person in the house, I assume it must be some poor tiny spider. I investigate and find it to be a rather large beetle. I have no irrational fear of beetles; Lisa, however, is terrified of beetles. She's getting ready to make a run out the door when her dog makes a go at the beetle. I deflect her and send her on her way, when suddenly the hell beetle ATTACKED THE DOG!!

Now realizing this is no ordinary beetle, I wait for the beetle to climb onto the wall, block it with the door so Lisa can run past, and proceed to smoke. 

Walking back to the stairwell, I see the beetle climbing on the wall. It falls. It climbs on the stairs. It falls, letting out a huge diabolical hiss. I get ready to run for it, Lisa right behind me, both of us squealing. The beetle takes flight!!!!! 

Screaming and cussing I run up to the top of the stairs, Lisa still right behind me. 

I breathe. 

"Eff that. We can just go in the kitchen door."


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