Saturday, November 17, 2012

C'est L'amour

Yeah I don't speak French.

But I do speak love. ^_^

There are so many different kinds of love, and I finally feel like my life is filled with love. My little family is so happy now that we're together, and I've finally found a man that appreciates who I am and treats me the way I should have been treated all along.

Finally being pushed in the right direction; this is what I've needed all along.

Getting hired on the spot on Tuesday is going to be the first step in securing my future with my family and with my Jake.

I can't wait to get started! I have a shoot this weekend, then a night and day with my lover, Thanksgiving, and the first birthday I get to spend with the love of my life. The rest of my life is going to be the best years of my life and I can't wait to get started! I can't believe I spent the first 25 years of my life being pushed around and beaten down. No longer. Nothing but good times up ahead!

I couldn't have done anything, been anything, without Jake and my family. The people who love me regardless of where I've been or what I've done. I still have a lot to answer for, but I'm not scared anymore. Not sad anymore. Not giving up anymore. I deserve happiness, and happiness has finally found me.

I'm one of the lucky ones. ^_^

Monday, November 12, 2012

My Kid Is Santa Claus

My son just celebrated his 4th birthday! It might as well have been Christmas with how spoiled he was with presents. After he opened his presents, his aunt was talking about a project they are participating this year which involves sending toys to kids in Africa. My son is all for it! In fact every day since he has brought up how we need to buy toys "for the kids who don't have any."
I've never seen a kid so charitable! He is just so moved by the fact that these kids don't have anything to play with. How can a 4 year old be so selfless and caring?
I showed him pictures of children in Africa today and told him about the starvation and poverty they experience. His response? "Mommy! We need to send them food, too!"
I was just thinking to myself the other day how I wish there was a soup kitchen or something that I could volunteer my time at. It's been so long since I performed any sort of charitable service, and I've been missing it. It's so touching that my son is the same way. He always wants to help in any way he can, and it comes from his heart. I've never seen a child so willing to help in any way he could for someone less fortunate than he.
I'm so proud of my boy. He is shaping up to be an amazing person, and I can't wait to see what he is capable of achieving in life. I couldn't be a prouder mom.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Tarot Card Of The Day

3 of Pentacles

Working with others, the group mind, planning, organizing, achieving more than what is expected.

I've been getting this card a lot lately. I feel such a great oneness with my family and I'm sure that is to what this card is referring. Hopefully this trend will continue, as I don't want things to go back to the way they were. :)

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Color: Green
Food: Sushi
Breakfast: Cheerios/Sausage
Number: 32, 7
Animal: Any panther.. except jaguars. They kind of look funny.
Soda: Pepsi
Alcoholic Drink: Margarita
Liquor: Tequila/Whiskey
Beer: Shock Top
Meat: Turkey/Beef
Vegetable: Artichoke
Fruit: Blackberry
Pizza Topping: Pepperoni
Restaurant: Happy Sumo
Salad Dressing: Ranch
Candy: Warheads
Flowers: Carnations
Holiday: Halloween/Samhain or Thanksgiving
Time of Day: Early morning
Day of the Week: Thursday
Month: May
Vacation: New Zealand/Australia
City: Queenstown, NZ
State: Washington
Country: New Zealand
Activity: Either gaming or dancing
Sport: Football
Date Activity: Laser Tag
Way to Show Affection: Nibbling ha ha ha
Band: Queen
Singer: Freddie Mercury/David Lee Roth
Composer: Hans Zimmer
Guitarist: Eddie Van Halen
Song: There are so many!!!! But right now Overwhelmed by Tim McMorris
TV Show: New Girl, The Cleveland Show
Movie: Hmmmmmmmm..... I have no idea
Book: To Kill a Mockingbird
Author: David Eddings/Robin Cook
Shoes: Anything plaid or with high tops
Outfit: Anything lace or plaid
Car: '69 Mustang GT convertible
Weather: Warm and overcast

Friday, November 2, 2012

Karma's A Fat Freaking Biotch, Isn't It?

I don't know whether to shake my head at you or laugh. Honestly, take a look at yourself and what you're becoming. Do you even like yourself? Do you respect yourself? Do you feel any remorse for the people you have totally screwed over? I've been there. The difference between you and me is that I knew what I was doing. I didn't COMPLAIN about all the consequences because I knew I DESERVED them.

But the fact that you're oblivious to your own SERIOUSLY MESSED UP actions is not even the worst part. The worst part is that you can SIT THERE AND PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE'S FRIEND and then start drama when you're not getting enough sexual attention from the group of friends you screwed. You are fake as hell. I don't give a damn if you actually do care about anyone as much as you say you do (which I don't believe for a second), if you love someone, you are happy when they are happy. You don't sit there and try to screw things up for them by being a huge slut.

Which brings me to my next point. WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU BE PROUD OF BEING PASSED AROUND A GROUP OF FRIENDS LIKE A JOINT? You're what, barely 17? GET SOME SELF RESPECT. Instead of screwing 3 friends and being depressed because NONE OF THEM WANT TO DATE YOU, maybe you should have kept your pants up, tried actually being a friend instead of a groupie, and maybe, just maybe, if your total lack of any sort of intelligence at all and your ability to tell people what to do regardless of your ignorance to EVERYTHING didn't turn people off, perhaps someone would find you worth their time.

I'm not going to put up with you any longer. Take a step back, turn around, and walk away hun. Because I've been NICE to your fake ass face until now. But I have lost ALL respect for you. Keep your freaking hands and your vagina to yourself. My man doesn't want them.

And if this doesn't get through to you, God knows what will. You've been told time and time again to back the hell off. I suggest you do.

Care Taker Fail

I tried so hard not to get sick. Didn't eat off of my son's food, sprayed everything down with Lysol, etc. So I make one stupid mistake. I lick the spoon my son was eating with. I didn't even swallow. I spit it out and rinsed out my mouth. Maybe if I'd had Listerine available I would have been fine. But alas, I awoke to nausea and a headache.

I hate being around my son when I'm sick. I feel like I spent the whole day yelling at him, and I hate that. My headache kills my patience... His constant hyper energy somehow makes me feel sicker...

I just need to get better so I can play with him and give him all the attention he deserves. :)

I wish Jake were here, though. He's the best medicine money can't buy.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

True Love

I thought I knew what true love was like. Boy, was I wrong. I always thought that love was just a way you felt. True love is so much more. It invades every facet of your life. True love is finding that one person that makes every heart ache, every depressing time in your life worth it; because it led you to them.

It's finding that person that is perfect, who makes you want to be perfect. It's finding that person that makes you invincible; the one that allows you to do and deal with anything, because you know that they love you.

Jake is that person, the love I've waited for all my life. I'd begun to believe that such a thing didn't exist, that it was a thing of fantasy and had no place in the real world. Looking back at past relationships, there was so much that I just DEALT with because I thought that was love. But I was wrong. I wasted so much time and energy on so many relationships that were doomed to fail, when I could have spent all that time being truly, blissfully happy.

I honestly don't have any idea how I thought I was EVER happy without him. He puts everything into perspective, supports everything that means everything to me. He brings out so much good in me, that I'm skeptical that the bad in me ever existed at all, and that is one of the most beautiful feelings you can experience in life.

The idea of him ever mistreating me, hurting me, lying to me, manipulating me, is so ludicrous that it's laughable. I've never trusted someone so much with my heart. I may be miles away, but I can still taste him, hear his voice, taste his lips, and feel the way he holds me.

I've been able to visualize marrying some of my past lovers, but what makes this truly special is that I cannot visualize NOT marrying this man. A future without him is not a possibility I want to consider, let alone live through.

I've never felt so complete, so loved, so safe. I truly have found my other, better half.