Friday, August 10, 2012

Inanimate Objects Hate Me

I could write all day about each of these experiences...

Maybe some day I will, but not at 5:31 in the morning.

I've been attacked by many inanimate objects since I was but a wee little thing. Here's a list of objects that have wounded me. And not in the way you would think.

*Carboard boxes
*Nails
*Bleachers
*Fishing poles
*Metal shelving
*Hole punches
*Hangers
*Tvs
*Baseball bats
*Basketballs
*Springs
*Scissors
*Dishwashers
*Manila envelopes
*Blinds
*Straws.... Oh God straws...
*Tree branches
*Phone chargers
*Car doors
*Plastic utensils
*Knives
*Headphones
*Aluminum cans
*Mechanical pencils

There are more. So many more. I'm starting to have paranoid delusions that everything is a Decepticon and I'm screwed.

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